Parenting Practices

As we are building on the information that we covered last week about parenting, this week we are discussing and learning about the different parenting practices that are most helpful.... and those that are not. There can be so many variables that play into how a child reacts, how a parent "parents", and the results of those combinations can make a difference in the outcome of a child's life. I found it most interesting to learn more about a typical parenting technique classified as coercion. The definition of this term is to compel people to behave the way we want them to behave. Sounds like an idea that wasn't exactly supported in the counsel before we came to Earth. This technique is used because it is efficient, the short-term results are what the person/parent wants to occur and it usually happens quickly. But this expediency is only an illusion. A child will behave when threatened or coerced, but mere compliance is not change. What this technique actually does is encourage children to escape, avoid, or counter coerce (to get even). Eeek! Not exactly the behaviors that any parent wants to have their child express!

Glenn Latham shares:

 "The most effective way to strengthen desirable behavior is through positive reinforcement"

I have used this technique when I saw a friend that had jar full of beans on her table. I asked her what she was doing and she told me that she was having a hard time noticing good things that her kids were doing. It seems she was always having to tell them how to be nice or helpful in the family, there was a lot of teasing, and she just didn't like it. So she decided to have a physical reminder of the good things that her children were doing for her... and for them. She noticed a huge difference in behavior and she didn't feel like she was yelling at her kids for all the little things that they had been doing before. So I tried it and it was great! I would have my 4 year-old ask after doing something good "Do I get to put beans in the jar?" You bet, buddy!
When the jar becomes full from everyone "Bean Good", then the family is able to do a fun activity together. After learning and remembering this experience, I pulled out the bean jar that had been somehow forgotten and I am starting to see the things that my children are doing that is a desirable behavior. Compliments, warm hugs, smiling, and laughing are part of my positive reinforcement!

Things to Remember:
Christ-like Parenting is free from reviling (D&C 31:9)
Rich in nurturing (Alma 32:37-43)
Non-reactive  **REMEMBER THIS ONE**

Read "Parenting with Love" by Glenn Latham for wonderful counsel and advice in this area.