Marriage Preparation

I had a great time reading the chapters for this week and the other homework assignments in regards to dating and preparing for marriage. It is clear that current trends in society are having a direct impact on the definition of what a date is and the frequency of "dating" among teenagers and young adults. There is a way to socialize that is occurring recently which doesn't require any thought or planning and it is called "hanging out". Many young adults are comfortable in this setting, but it isn't leading to any productive forms of relationship development, and serious relationships are suffering.

As a youth leader and I began to consider the conversations that I could have with my young women about becoming and developing qualities that are most beneficial to maturity and a proper dating mindset. It doesn't need to wait until these young women are 16 and just ready to start into the social scene. No, these conversations and commitments need to begin right when they step in as bright-eyed 12 year-olds. There is wonderful counsel that is taught about the purpose of dating in the teenage years from church leaders, talked about with parents, and reinforced with youth leaders. Teenage dating should be considered training time. It is time to get to know and develop friendships and should not be thought of "I'm going to have marry this person if we go on a date." I think about the unwritten rules that impacted my high school dating career. It was tricky to think more simply about what a date meant. If a boy asked me out for a night, then it wasn't very common for a different boy to then ask me out the next week. It was almost like the first gentleman had staked his claim and there wasn't going to be any interference from another young man until at least a 3 month stall had occurred. It really was just confusing for everyone involved. I'm pretty sure these "rules" still exist as I have spoken to other mothers and teenagers about this topic. Even if a boy did ask a different girl out, people would think  he was just trying to see as many girls as he could and that would be considered a social foul.  But during the high school time for dating this is exactly what this term should be for them. There are friends that enjoy being together, but by widening the social circles and getting to know all types of individuals a person will be able to know and learn about conversation skills and be able to interact with anyone they choose.

I loved reading the entire Ensign magazine that was dedicated to sharing information about dating. There were articles, encouragement, and answering questions that youth have about dating and the thought processes that young men and women have in regards to one another. I loved it and feel like it is something that I am ready to share with my own children (soon) and the young women that I work with (very soon).

Check out the TAB *Dating* and *Marriage Preparation* to read the highlights and information that struck me as important this week.